My heart and soul have had this heavy and sad feeling lately. It is being caused by Elderly Parents being abandoned by their children and grandchildren.
Let me start at the beginning and try explain how this situation unfolded. In 2010 my Mom and Dad moved in to a complex in Rynfield. My Mom’s sister Sophie moved in with them as she stayed with them previously. The apartment they moved into had 3 bedrooms and was spacious.
My wife and I visited them often and spent every Sunday with them all. My aunt, which we love dearly, was visited quite often by her daughter and 2 sons. Also bear in mind that apart from her three children, she also has 8 grandchildren.
Things were going well for my Folks and my Aunt, until one night in November 2013 when my Aunt Sophie suffered a stroke. To cut a long story short, she ended up bedridden, where she still lies today. Life became tough for my Mom and Dad as they had to look after her and feed her etc.
Her youngest son, who was like a brother to me, saw his mother once in November 2013 after the stroke. Up until today he has not been to see his mom and has disappeared from all our lives. He is alive and well and still stays in Benoni but for some reason unknown to us, written his mother off.
Her eldest son became very funny towards my folks and his mother to such an extent that she prefers not to see him. Well its been a few years that he has made no effort to see his mother.
My aunts daughter decided a while ago to pack up her life and move to some small town miles away from Benoni. Visits from her are so few in the last few years that I can count on the fingers on one hand and still have a finger or two left over.
The 4th May 2015 we tragically lost my Father, leaving a gaping hole in our lives. Suddenly my mother found herself alone and apart from the grieving and loneliness, had to carry on looking after her sister. This year my mother is 80 and my aunt Sophie is 90. Its an uphill battle for them both, my mom battles to walk and struggles along with the help of a walking aid and my aunt needs care.
We have employed the services of two nurses to help with personal care and the running of the household through the day. It still leaves my mom looking after her sister at night.
Through life you hear many things that you battle to believe, like elderly parents being put in old age homes and forgotten about. Never really believed that it was possible until November 2013.
My wife and I cut my bedridden aunts hair last Sunday. She is so frail and who knows how long she will still be with us. She is a mother laying alone in a bed with none of her children or grandchildren coming to see their grandmother. Do people have no feeling, can they be so cold and uncaring?
How is it possible that you have no feelings or love for the person that gave you life, raised you and looked after your every need. I hang my head in shame knowing that these people are part of what is called my family.
My aunt has a cell phone next to her bed that never rings apart from the small message from her daughter maybe once a week.
Choosing friends or family
There is a saying “You can choose your friends but not your family”. After seeing the hurt in my dear aunts eyes, the longing and loneliness I realized something. I can and have chosen my family, these uncaring (Just being polite) individuals are no longer part of my family which I love and cherish. There are friends that I have met that are more like family than these “cousins” of mine.
Possibly the thing that hurt my mother and myself the most is the fact that not one of them made any attempt to attend my Old Mans funeral. In fact apart from my aunts daughter, the other two didn’t even make any attempt to contact us.
Seriously folks, how does a family become so broken, maybe someone can explain to me.